Swimming the Sacred River

A maxim that many of my friends are familiar with states, “Success is your proof.” The concept behind this simple statement is a very good one—to know if something is worthwhile or effective, one need look no further than the outcome of its execution. But things get tricky when we try to define “success.” Not so hard when a goal is clearly defined, such as making an A on a test or landing a job. But when it comes to large scale aims, it gets cloudy. What is success in life? in spirituality? in relationships? At some point, one simply has to start making choices about what success looks like.

For myself, I’ve thought quite a bit about what spiritual/life success would look like. If we divide it up according to goals and objectives (the former being big picture aims, the latter being more concrete steps towards the goals), then I can say that my top-level goal/vision is a life that is joyous, meaningful, and fulfilling. Let’s look at what I mean by these terms.

A JOYOUS LIFE

Joy is not quite the same as happiness, and it doesn’t require the absence of sorrow. I see joy as a combination of gratitude, pleasure, harmony, wonder, and humor. To be joyous also means to be in love, with others, the self, and the world, and to be loved in return. As such, joy springs from deep and profound connections, from the experience of being connected, of sharing existence with others. Mindfulness or an easy awareness of the present moment, to be grounded in the now, also plays a part in joyfulness.

And so I aspire to expand my sense of connection with others and all things, to increase my ability to feel appreciation, to seek balance, to laugh more, to be amazed by the world, and to keep more of my attention in the immediate moment.

A MEANINGFUL LIFE

A meaningful life is one that serves something larger than the self. Said another way, it is a life that has purpose, that can somehow make a positive difference in the world. This can take a wide variety of forms, such as expanding knowledge (e.g. research), helping those in need (e.g. medicine, psychotherapy, social work, etc.), spiritual/religious devotion, creating art (e.g. music, food, dance, etc.), protecting natural resources, raising a family, inventing things that improve the human condition, and so on.

Now then, the key here is not the action so much as the intent, or rather that such action attains meaning when intent is applied to it. For example, a great doctor might yet still feel that she lives a meaningless life if she doesn’t believe that what she does has a profound and lasting impact. It involves a shift in attention, a kind of expansion of awareness beyond one’s own immediate desires and needs. Living this kind of life requires sacrifice of one kind or another…there is no way around that. The question is if one’s sacrifice is in service to a deeper purpose, creating a rich sense of meaning in life. (This is one definition of maturity.)

There is another aspect of a meaningful life—it is the concept of discovering worth in existence. Meaning in this sense has to do with developing an understanding of how things relate to each other and why or how each thing is important or vital. It answers the question, “Why bother?” I agree with Frankl that this task is a fundamental human motivation—we want to know why we bother, and this is done through creating meaning.

It is arguable that there exists no inherent meaning to anything, a position I tend to agree with. As such, it is the human’s job to create and assign meaning within his or her life, which is possible through the acts of creation and engagement. Although common meaning systems are often shared, ultimately it is up to the individual to determine for him or herself what they consider important and what particular things and actions mean. The development of such a personal meaning system (which requires a certain degree of self-reliance to accomplish) is key to living a meaningful life.

A FULFILLING LIFE

To be fulfilled is to be true to one’s self. It is to live a life of integrity. It is not enough simply to know about one’s self (as monumental as that is)—it requires expressing that self in the world. Being fulfilled is related to having needs met, but is much more than that. It is the manifestation of one’s values, talents, and dreams. Doing so perfectly is an ideal; in real life, the goal is to learn as much as possible about one’s self while eliminating those elements that restrict its expression. This is an ongoing process, since the self is constantly changing—by resisting inertia, maintaining a perspective of curiosity, developing the courage to take risks, and keeping the mind and body in good health, it is possible to life a life that is fulfilling.

CONCLUSION

If I can have joy, meaning, and fulfillment in my life, I would consider myself to have been a great success. I am always learning more about who I am and finding ways to be true to myself. This is all about the journey and not the destination—to give up a lust of result and learn simply how to be is a great challenge, especially for we Westerners. But as I swim, dogpaddle, or flail in the Sacred River, I can look to these three aims to gauge my progress.

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